"As fire sets brushwood alight, as fire makes water boil - to make your name known to your foes; the nations would tremble at your presence..." - Isaiah 64:1
So... I was reading all my previous blogs here on this page from many years ago, and I can't help but think "WOW, did I really write those??!!" HA ha ha! I mean this in a good way actually. I guess those times that I wrote, I just felt so inspired and I was filled with joy and faith that reading them now brings me back those positive feelings and it makes me feel motivated!! I feel even moooore inspired now! I don't know if this makes any sense. It's as if a fire in me has been reignited recently, and I just cannot wait to share so much with you guys. But I know I will have to take it one day at a time.
This week, I've had time to reflect on the reasons why I am this way and why I feel this urge to continue to share my faith and stories. And I believe it is because I truly believe in the power of prayers and faith and their influence to transform people's hearts, even the hardened ones. I was reading some of my journals that I didn't share here and here's an experience that struck to me. It has to do with faith and prayer.
I WROTE THIS ON OCTOBER 21, 2012.
[Since I've been off work for more than a week, I was a little anxious coming back to work today. (That's just how I am. I get antsy very easily.) . This morning before going to work, I prayed to Jesus and said "Lord, I am so anxious to go back today... I don't know why...but whatever happens, I know You are with me...You know how flowers make me feel better... I hope I get a patient today who has flowers (pink roses or white orchids are my fave) in his/her room, because seeing flowers make my day! I do want my own flowers though.. so I think I will buy flowers after work!" Then I came to work and found out one of my patients was not doing well and she was at the "end-of-life" stage. When I went into her room, there were two bouquets of pink roses by her window sill. Exactly like my faves: two-toned white/pink roses and pink roses. I instantly had a smile on my face... I trusted that everything was going to be okay, yet something told me God was up to something. Later on, my patient deteriorated drastically...and towards the last moments of her life, she had wanted me to be with her..... she was Catholic, and I stayed and prayed with her until her family came. It almost brought me to tears... something compelled me to pray the "Hail Mary" to her ear, and as soon as I did, her facial expression calmed down and started to nod her head slowly. It gave me one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. Thankfully, she had already received the Last Sacrament yesterday. When she passed away, her family thanked and offered me the pink roses to take home! I was so surprised, because I actually have never been offered flowers by my patients or patient's families directly. Usually, they are just left in the room or they take them home. So that's when it HIT me! I may have felt anxious this morning...and almost let the negative thoughts control me...but when I asked God for something small to make me feel better, like seeing flowers, He granted me my favor... so precise too. Not only did He do that for me, but He let me BE with someone who needed the comfort of God and Mother Mary at the end of her life... You see, that is how amazing and loving God is. That is how He can use us, as His instruments to deliver His unending love to others... even until the last breath. He sends us to different situations for a certain purpose... I've learned that He will never let us down..... I don't believe that it's bad luck that I received these flowers from the family of my patient who passed away.... I would like to believe it is the opposite... I honestly felt the presence and embrace of Jesus and Mother Mary when I prayed with her. My heart is saddened for her family, but I am sure she is now in peace in Heaven. Life itself, may be so intricate... BUT if only the world can understand how achievable it is to live and love God in the simplest and tiniest ways.....if only we allow ourselves to constantly surrender and open our hearts to Him.... we must always try and do those if we truly want to believe and be in Heaven one day. Today has been such an eye opener for me... and again, I have received affirmation that God truly cares and always listens. I would like to emphasize that, it is okay to pray for others..... whether you pray for people that like you, hate you, criticize you, curse you, or those that do not even know you... it is through this simple act of love that God bestows His graces and blessings upon you and that person you are praying for. And do not mind the people that disagree or make fun of you...keep praying... and leave it to God to do His mighty works. You are His child, and He will protect you for He is your all-powerful God.]
This experience is a reminder for me that:
1.) Situations will happen where I will feel anxious, uncomfortable, or awkward, but to remember that God is always there and God always has a purpose. I need to always put Him first.
2.) Our lives may end here on earth when our bodies die, but there are so many signs out there shouting out that there is such thing as Heaven and Hell.....
3.) There is always something "positive" to see out of a miserable thing if you choose to find the blessing, rather than just letting the misery weigh you down.
4.) There is NO such thing as coincidence... it is all in God's providence. ;)
This is just a "chip" of the iceberg I guess of my experiences. If I shared the "major" ones I might scare some people. Lol..... but really though, this is not to scare or make people feel uncomfortable. I just feel that we live in a time now where people oppose/despise people of faith or faith in general, but there are soooooo many people out there also who are searching for that "something" or who feel lost/unsure, yet they feel ashamed or silenced. So here I am, just shedding a bit of light one day at a time because I promise, I am not afraid to write these and be put to shame, because I know everything that has happened is real; and that in some way can help someone feel that real sense of peace and joy they are looking for. I would never make any stories up by the way... lol.
Love & prayers always...
Elena
This was taken at the famous spiral staircase at the Vatican museum. My husband took this shot of me. "Coincidentally" (no, not a coincidence right), this outstanding staircase represents life itself, as it is in the formation of the double helical DNA strand. I thought it totally fit this quote. :)
Of course, we are not perfect people. I am not perfect. There will be times where we will spiral down slowly or quickly. There will always be many decisions in life where we will have to choose, to go back up or continue to go down. To love or hate. To be patient or impatient. To forgive or be merciless. To strive to be a better person or to sulk in our own insecurities. To seek the purpose of our life or to ignore. So many choices...
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