In the beginning of the year 2012, I was inspired by my sister's blog to pick a "WORD OF THE YEAR"... and it is suppose to be the new New Year's resolution. Basically, you choose a word that will be a reminder to help and motivate you to achieve your goals and plans in the new year... or at least to help create them.
The word I chose for 2012 was "INSPIRE"..... (actually... more like the word chose me.) After having experienced an unexpected profound spiritual change in August 2011 during World Youth Day in Madrid, Spain... I felt it all happened for a good reason. From feeling spiritually dry and dull, my experience lifted up my faith to heights that I could've never imagined! It gave me indescribable feelings of inner joy, wisdom, and peace... like seeing the spiritual world in a clearer and more beautiful way.
God, through my prayers, was then asking me to do something for Him for 2012..... and that was to INSPIRE others through praying and by sharing the events that led to my "conversion"..... to inspire others to become more involved or grow deeper in faith.
I am not saying I am a perfect angelic person who thinks I am the best Christian out there... no, that's definitely not it... but what I am saying is, I affirm that an active and close relationship with God, can genuinely make the heart feel anew, better, happier and at peace! Before WYD, my prayer life was almost non-existent. It took many events for me to realize the importance of the existence of God in my life... it took a lot of patience, understanding, and perseverance... but I can now admit, it was all worth it.
Throughout the whole year of 2012, I always pondered the word, "INSPIRE" in my heart... it's for sure that I did not inspire EVERYBODY I know or have encountered... (we cannot affect/please everybody), but I know I have done my best to influence somebody in a positive way in their life...somehow in the little ways... like through a facebook status, message, conversation, deed, or prayer. At first I did not think I was worthy to inspire anybody out there... I also did not feel I was ready to open up to people about my "conversion" because some just will not understand it... I was afraid of being ridiculed and judged. However, I've realized and gained confidence that, everything before, during, and after my WYD Spain experience happened for a reason, because God was calling me... He had a MISSION for me... and a step to this mission was to INSPIRE others so that they can see God. I wouldn't be able to stand up for the faith, without God preparing me. And I thank all the people (you know who you are) for sending me nice and thoughtful messages through facebook and text... it is comforting to know I have family and friends who support me and strongly support the faith. It sure is interesting how God uses certain people (even those I don't know personally or have never met) and situations to inspire me, awaken me, and guide me in the right path.
The year 2012 was definitely a year filled with inspiration and prayers! Most importantly, I vowed into my vocation to marriage with Mikko Figueroa on May 11, 2012, the biggest milestone in our lives yet. We prayed about everything we planned for our wedding. Literally everything --- the date, the dresses, the suits, the flowers, the venue, the MC/DJ, the photographers/videographers, the honeymoon, the people involved..... eeeverything, because I wanted to make sure God approved of them --- and it really all came into place. It was perfectly beautiful. We were not stressed for one second. We would not change a thing. :) (except I wish some of our friends and family were able to celebrate with us...but I understand they had their reasons.)
It is now the year 2013, and I'm sure there will be more challenges and also rewards along the way. I will keep on striving to be a better person, a better child of God. Mikko and I did our "countdown" into the new year in a different way. We decided to go to the 11 pm mass instead, to be with the Lord. As we were about to enter our church, Merciful Redeemer, I said to Mikko, "I really hope the Blessed Sacrament is open... I really want to spend time with the Lord." And guess what?? the Blessed Sacrament was not in the mini chapel, but right at the altar of the church in front of the whole congregation! My heart honestly leaped with joy. I was almost brought to tears... because God already knew exactly what I needed/wanted. It gave me so much joy to be with Jesus, right in front of me, and at the same time to be with my husband. It was also inspiring to see so many people, parents with their children, to be doing the same. It was a perfect way to end 2012, and to start the new year.
And then I was praying and asking God what my new "WORD OF THE YEAR" should be for 2013... something that will really guide and strengthen me, as I know I will face more trials and adversities as I continue to fulfill His mission. It was as if Jesus spoke these words, "You do not need to satisfy the world, nor the world to satisfy you... Continue to do in the world what satisfies ME, what is pleasing to MY eyes, and you will be truly satisfied." Then the word, "UNAFRAID" was announced loud and clear to my heart. I immediately thought, "To be UNAFRAID??? How can I be "unafraid" when I've always been the most scared and anxious type since I was a kid??? My family even used to call me, Ms. Scared-y Cat!" Haaah! But it seems that God is already molding me... He wants me to be UNAFRAID, to serve Him and others... To be unafraid of the hurt and persecutions, like the martyrs of the faith were unafraid ages ago. To be unafraid of the future, as I always tend to worry about what the future holds. To be unafraid to do God's Will, whatever they may be. I do not like to admit it, but "UNAFRAID" definitely suits my resolution for this year. The word definitely chose me again.
What surprised me also this morning when I woke up, my friend, Denise Tuason, sent me a picture of St. Therese's (my favourite saint!!!) statue at St. Michael's Cathedral in downtown Toronto, and she said "your bestfriend says hi!"
Today (January 1) being the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, I almost cried seeing the picture because I was praying to God and Mother Mary last night in Merciful Redeemer, and I told them I wished I was at St. Michael's Cathedral to pray in front of the Mary, Mother of God statue..... because it is one of my fave places of prayer and I go there everytime I'm in downtown. Even though I didn't get to go to St. Michael's, seeing that picture of St. Therese gave me consolation, and in a way, it did make me feel as if I was actually there. What a little act of love that was done by my friend, but meant the world to me! She said that when she entered the church, she immediately saw St. Therese and thought of me, and it was as if St. Therese said, "tell Elena I say hi to her." She didn't want to take a picture at first, as she felt uncomfortable doing so in the church, but it was as if she was being pushed by St. Therese to do it. So she finally did, sent me the pic, and then realized what and how much it meant to me! Now, THAT truly is what inspiration and being unafraid is all about! :)
An inspiration is like a light in the heart, that is sometimes only seen or felt within that heart... it may seem so small, but what one does with it, is what makes the difference. No matter how small it is, that light has the potential to become brighter and influential, especially when shared with another.
To be UNAFRAID of sharing that light to other people is a big step now that takes a whole lot of faith..... some people may play with it, some may extinguish it, while others may preserve and reflect the light..... but my promise to myself for this year is to remain in the light of God, and to be UNAFRAID to spread His light (His Word)...no matter the circumstances.
I am also happy to say that I am supporting someone (through RCIA) who is getting to know the Catholic faith, and I can already tell she is really into it. Praise God. :) Please keep her in your prayers.
So..... do you have a "word of the year"? :) I'd be happy to hear yours!
I'm sorry this was a long post... but I just had to. I wish you all a blessed and joyful new year, and may God bless you and your loved ones!
Love & prayers always,
Elena
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