The Cross

Now, bear with me for this one.  This will be a lengthy post, but I would like to share with you a TRUE story that happened to me in Madrid, Spain in 2011.  Yesterday being the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross, I couldn't help but remember the time when I encountered something unforgettable, and it had to do with this World Youth Day Cross.  


On the night of August 17, 2011,  I had a talk with a friend @ricardocanlas.  Our conversation was deep and inspiring, that after we talked, I was pushed to pray the rosary.  I had not prayed the rosary in a long time by myself at that time, but I felt so moved by God's grace, so I decided to pray it.  After praying the rosary, I felt at peace and I put the rosary on my side table and fell asleep.  Hours later in the middle of the night, (I would say it was about 3am), I woke up randomly.  The girls who were with me in the bedroom (@frankiegarcia and #carolinevillanueva) were already fast asleep.  As I looked around the room, even though it was really dark, I noticed that the door was wide open and the spot where I was sleeping was literally facing the door.  There I was, awake and glaring at the open door, seeing nothing but darkness.  All of a sudden, an eerie feeling came over me and it was almost as if I could sense a dark entity standing at the door and watching us.  We had been sleeping in the house for three nights with the door closed, so I found it quite odd that it was left wide open. Maybe it was my imagination, but I began to feel very scared.  I had chills all over my spine because I truly felt that something was there looking and haunting me!!  I immediately laid back down and began to pray the 'Our Father'  and 'Hail Mary'.  Then, something told me to reach for my rosary.  Because I was so frightened, I didn't even dare to move a muscle!  I was thinking, "there is nooo way I am going to move and look for it because this thing that is scaring me might come to me!"  I honestly thought I was going crazy! I heard my own heart pound loudly and my hands tingled and began to sweat!  I was debating whether I should get the rosary or not, when something in my heart whispered, "have faith in me."  Right away I said, "Okay Lord, I want to increase my faith.  I will get my rosary because I trust in You!"  So I propped up (without looking straight at the door), frantically grabbed for my rosary and hugged it tight, close to my heart and continued to pray.  Instantly, I felt my numbness go away and I calmed down.  I felt warmth and peace, and with relief I said,  "thank You, Lord Jesus!!!"  I then put my rosary right underneath my pillow and closed my eyes to sleep.

That morning, I told the girls what happened that night, and they were shocked, because they closed the door before they went to bed.  Then I remembered about my rosary that 'saved' me, so I reached for it underneath my pillow... but to my surprise, instead of my rosary, it was a box with the world youth day Cross inside!  I was stunned because I was certain that I grabbed my rosary, and not the cross!  I looked at my side table, and not only was my rosary there, but also my own world youth day cross!  I was in complete awe that this other cross somehow appeared underneath my pillow.  There was no way I had two to begin with though, because I unpacked my world youth day backpack, and I KNOW I only had one cross, just like the rest of the pilgrims.  I assumed that someone in the house misplaced their cross.  However, when I asked everyone in the house, they all still had theirs!  Nobody lost theirs!  So .....where did the cross from underneath my pillow come from and to who is it for?!?  I spoke about what happened to Ricardo, and he said "maybe you are meant to give it to someone."  It got me thinking, so I prayed about it and I received my answer.

Now, back to the cross.  It still remains a mystery...but I believe that this Cross was a gift from God.  It was meant to be with me for several reasons.  First of all, the Catholic Church exalts the Cross because it is a symbolism of Christ, Our Savior who died for us so that we may share eternal salvation.  The Cross symbolizes soooooo many things that Christ manifested... love, faith, hope, strength, courage, peace, mercy, obedience, patience, forgiveness, humility,  perseverance...you name it!  The Cross reminds us how to be true followers of God.  Throughout my high school years, I had been questioning God because I wanted to increase my faith.  This Cross was an affirmation that God is indeed present and is listening to me.  I was so blinded, but it was pretty much the answer that I was always searching for.  I didn't need definite answers right away to all my questions.  I realized, that all I actually needed was to trust in the Cross of Jesus... to carry my own cross and to simply follow Him, because eventually... the path will take me to the answers, sometimes unexpectedly, but all in God's will.  


I  will share more insight about the way of the Cross (ie the Passion of Christ)... but for now, I wanted to share that, if you feel in doubt/lost/angry/nonchalant/hopeless/sad because you feel like God isn't answering you, please KNOW that He is right with you and He hears you.  You just have to carry this burden of negativity for now and eventually you will gain strength from it.  Follow Christ closely with a faithful heart, and you will see and experience true joy in unworldly things along the way.


Love & prayers,

Elena